A new trend is to stop making New Year's resolutions. How often do you keep to them, anyway? Committing to resolutions put extra pressure on you, and make you feel like a failure if you don't achieve the goals you have set for yourself.
Mindfulness expert Alfred James says resolutions often fail because these goals do not always reflect our true desires. Is it your goal to read more books or listen to classical music because it makes you happy or because you feel it is the "acceptable, self-improving" thing to do?
He advises ambitious goal setters to get off the bus. "Rather enter the new year with a positive attitude. If you do this, you'll end up doing everything you're supposed to do when it's supposed to be done."
American psychologist Dr. Sophie Lazarus from the Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center, agrees with him. She says since the Covid Pandemic left havoc and hardship in its wake, we do not need extra pressure but instead we must try to be gentle with ourselves.
Take it easy, and avoid hard-to-reach goals. However, if you do want to better your life, she suggests starting small. Instead of cutting out junk food altogether, allow yourself to eat it once a week, for example.
Beware of commiting to goals out of obligation. Ask yourself this: Will these goals make you feel better or happier? That should be your motivation. Don't do something just because you feel you have to.
Life coach Heather Moulder says she has given up on resolutions and instead pick a theme each year. A theme is a word or phrase that's intentionally set to guide you throughout the year ahead, says Moulder.
Let's say you choose Daily Fulfillment as your theme. With that theme in mind, you can now set goals such as to only take on clients that you connect with, to stop working with clients you do not like, or to concentrate more on projects that make you happy. This makes more sense than setting only one, often vague, goal such as to become more successful, for example.
If, however, you are resolute to have resolutions and you can't envision your new year without at least one, then why not try a resolution for the benefit of others? You could plan to do one nice thing a day for someone else, even if it is something small such as giving a compliment.
You will be surprised how making someone happy can uplift your mood as well.